CORNUCROWPIA

 art created 7-19-11

   Everyone knows crows are the cleverest of birds. So here I am to encourage all you kids to be just like them. You too can look smart by wearing specs and snappy clothes and be popular by hanging in a group. The group is called a "murder" of crows. Isn't that cool?  Crows can live anywhere. You don't need a home...just plop down on the roadside or in a field. Eat a variety of foods, including worms and insects, and get one of your friends to watch out for the authorities and caw out a warning if they see anyone coming. That way you can focus on the job of eating and reading. If you go into town, drop a nut in front of a car tire when the traffic light turns red. When the light turns green, the car runs over the nut, cracking it open. At the next red light, run out and get your snack. Very tasty, and you'll be a big hit with your friends.

 Eat a pear; read Shakespeare.

    For one of Ranger Rick's regular features: "Be Out There". You can also get other ideas for activities on their site to get you out of the house and out of your mother's hair, so to speak.

  And speaking of crows, there's a great Simpson's episode. To spare the family of having to eat genetically modified vegetables, Marge decides to grow her own corn, but her crop is attacked by crows.  So she erects a scarecrow which Homer thinks is a prowler in the dark and he beats it up and... oh... just go to this blog and you'll get the whole story.